I dislike all online dating site commercials, but lately the Christian Mingle commercials have really been getting on my nerves. For a start, the Christian Mingle theme song bugs me. It sounds like some dumb woman will go running to the first man who clicks her profile, sob uncontrollably whilst falling to her knees and proclaim that she wants to fall in love with him while he stands there patting her on the head saying “there, there my good woman. Now take off your shoes and get to work in that kitchen.”
So, I looked up the lyrics to the song I Want To Fall In Love With You by Jars of Clay. The song actually means that she will go running to God and fall in love with him. Well that’s all fine and good, but I don’t think dating is going to be a viable factor in this relationship.
Next is that dumb tag line. “Fall in love they way God intended.” So, God created the Christian Mingle web site? Wouldn’t he just rather you popped off to church on a more regular basis?
And while we’re at it, how about some religious equality?
Lutheran Mingle – Don’t say anything and maybe it’ll happen
Catholic Mingle – You can finally have sex, but only after you’re married
Jewish Mingle – Fall in love before your long-suffering mother gives up on you
Pagan Mingle – Having changed your name to ‘Galadriel Silverberry’ will actually work with this crowd!
Wiccan Mingle – See above
Agnostic Mingle – Don’t fall in love until you have proof
Atheist Mingle – Fall in love like a normal person, by socializing.
Wacky Religious Cult Mingle – Fall in love the way your cult leader demands
Satanists Mingle – Fall in love the way the devil intended
If any of my faithful readers can add “Fall in love” comments to this list, please do so in comments. I would love to read them.
Thank you for putting up with my rant. We will continue our regularly scheduled posts soon.